Smack Down at Kids Club!

The buzz in mommy land was that the Sherman Oaks Galleria was giving away Burke Williams certificates at the weekly kids club. I am so there.

I was thinking "spa, spa, spa, oy this music sucks, spa, spa," when suddenly...

SMACK DOWN! Two women with kids in arms in a hair pulling, scratching, slapping fight…lasting long enough for me to start crafting a Facebook status update! It took two mall security guards to pull them apart - both women ended up being held aloft screaming with pin wheeling arms and kicking legs.

Annabelle burst into tears, no doubt furious that her signature tantrum moves were being used.

I'll own the fact that I'm Gladys Kravitz. I ran to get a glass of water to give one of the breeder brawlers (not out of concern, but hoping for inside information). She had a cut on her head and was clutching a handful of her own hair that had been ripped out. Hysterical gibberish gave no new scoop. Soon, police officers showed up - in four cars. Really? Google "Chuck E. Cheese riot". More than one story comes up so maybe mommy event crime gets full law enforcement response.

How would I handle it if another mom pushed or hit or was aggressive with my kid? Would it matter if that person looked like me? (One woman was a mom with her child - blond, tall, big glittery wedding ring. The other was a short Hispanic nanny with three charges) I like to think that I always model good behavior for the girls. But would I be able to hold it together? When a kid made fun of Sabrina's eye patch at the park, I was not exactly proud of my response. (But at least I said it so only that little asshole could hear)

At least fairly-new-to-fatherhood Ted was there as a witness. The look on his face almost made up for my inability to get details. For now I’ll have to be happy with the scoop of Ben & Jerry's that I won in the giveaway. After all this excitement I really, really need that spa treatment...