Of all the topics I am passionate about: literature, motherhood and mental illness being just a few, one person irritated me enough to inspire blogging. Ann Brenoff. That’s impressive after eight years of Bush 43.
For those of you who have been lucky enough to miss this woman’s horrid prose, she’s the Hot Property columnist for the Los Angeles Times.The Hot Property column has a simple formula:
- Who is the famous person selling/buying? (actor, producer, singer)
- What are the home features?
- Price.
- And finally, if you’re looking for a multi-million dollar home, the name of the listing agent.
Steam showers! Walled hacienda entry courtyards! Clay bocce ball courts! I love to read about rich people and their home features.
That’s all I need to read. I swear. Please Ann.
But CLUNK, CLUNK, CLUNK……..Brenoff’s lead paragraph is consistently like my three year old clomping down the hall in daddy’s shoes.
CONTEST: Email what is annoying about this November 15th gem (hint - I count eight) The winner gets nothing.
As far as this country music fan is concerned, Tim McGraw could sing the yellow pages and it would still sound mighty purdy. And the fact that he recently expressed great annoyance at his record label for putting out another greatest-hits package of his songs instead of new tunes, well, it just makes me happier than a bug who missed the windshield to know that he’s thinking of us fans.
Ahhhhhhh…..my eyes!
And somebody’s using the “hip word” thesaurus to find a synonym for preteen:
OK, PULL up the blinds in your sleeping tween-ager's room and show her this column. I promise she will not shoot daggers your way. Vanessa Hudgens of "High School Musical" fame has bought her first house. On second thought, between that and the wine cellar, you might want to let those sleeping tweens lie.
Tween-ager…..my eyes!
Brenoff loves, loves, loves to draw readers into her poorly written web with an intriguing question:
- Where are all the Maloofs going?
- I love Halloween, don’t you?
- How much can one guy have on his home plate?
Here’s a question. Why do you have a job, Ann?
I learned that Ruth Ryon, the founder and writer of the column for 23 ½ years, resigned on April 13, 2008.
Ruth! Come back!
Then I found this:
We are pleased to announce that Ann Brenoff will be our new Hot Property writer, infusing it with energy and style.
Who is this “we”? And why are they writing fiction?
I’ll continue to track Ann’s plodding prose. Until then, visit her column online for a dizzy trip down clunker lead lane.
3 comments:
You know that they've accomplished exactly what they wanted to with her column: you are reading it!!
It grates on me to no end when advertising (or any other medium) does this to me. Oklahoma is a perfect example. How many of us remember stupid commercials like Paul Meade insurance? Or the xmas theme song to BC Clark Jewelers? It insults my intelligence.
However, they have served their purpose. I write this because I remember them!!
Now, 43 is another animal (pig, flounder, slug....take your pick!) altogether. Let's continue to scream and bitch about that POS!! He has 46 days left according to my Bad President calendar. Let's make sure he goes out with an inept bang.....just like his presidency!!
Incompetence and stupidity seem to be rewarded in society. It's quite sad, really. The world is run to cater to the Wal-Mart crowd and I really don't see any signs of it slowing down.
Hey Frenchie, maybe you need to suggest some other occupations needing energy and enthusiasm Ann Brenoff might be better suited for? Like, maybe she could be a mid-priced whore? And, by the by, just because Tarzana doesn't have a Tom Petty song doesn't mean you can take ours. The Soul Coughing song about Reseda is sacrosanct also. Love ya!
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